A Minecraft Movie – ★½
dir. by Jared Hess
World Premiere @ Leicester Square, London: March 30th 2025
U.S theatrical release: April 4th 2025
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6:30 PM – that was the time on the tickets my friends and I had to go see this movie last Friday at the Capitol Theater in Montpelier.
6:32 PM – that was the time on my watch when I quickly glanced at it while crossing the street on our way to the ticket booth.
6:34 PM – that was the time we entered the theater.
Now even though we ended up being 4 minutes late, we all hoped—and assumed—that the theater wouldn’t be terribly packed. It’s a pretty big screening room (for Vermont, that is), so we figured that it would be only be a little over half full, with a combination of middle schoolers in creeper hoodies, the parents of said middle schoolers, and small handful of college kids looking to clown on the newest post-ironic meme movie.
However, with the benefit of hindsight: it’s the opening night of a movie about the biggest and best-selling video game of all time. Of course it was gonna be filled to the brim. And filled to the brim it was. Never in my life have I had to sit in the front row of a theater—right up close and personal with the screen—but I guess there’s a first time for everything. Still, the experience wasn’t worse because of it—in fact, quite the opposite. The entire audience would erupt every time Jack Black said one of those lines (you know the ones), making this theater experience rival the likes of “Spider-Man: No Way Home” and “Avengers: Endgame.” The experience? Unforgettable.
The movie? Still sucked.
First thing first, though: we need to figure out where exactly “A Minecraft Movie” went wrong. And to do that, it only makes sense to start talking about a completely different film. 2023’s “The Super Mario Bros. Movie” was the last time a studio warped a beloved video game IP to reach the widest possible audience (and also put Jack Black in the lead role)…but that one actually worked. It got better reviews, cracked a billion dollars at the box office, and—if you ask me—it’s just a way more effective game-to-film adaptation.
Meanwhile, “A Minecraft Movie” could’ve been anything. The game has plenty of material to build a fantastic adventure story (fight the Ender Dragon, explore the Nether, stop pillagers, etc.). Instead, we get a basic “fish out of water” Jumanji knockoff that drags its premise way too long.
But honestly, the weak story and surface-level nostalgia bait aren’t even my biggest issues. The real problem? Way too many performances jammed into a world that doesn’t need them. Like “The Super Mario Bros. Movie”, this film leans hard on Jack Black—but unlike the Mario games, the Minecraft universe barely has characters. So it kind of has no choice but to lean on Jack Black as much as possible. And as much as it pains me to say it…that might be the movie’s most glaring mistake.
It totally feels like they knew almost everything else in the movie sucked—so they just called in the most unabashedly energetic and deranged actor and told him to “do his thing.” And yeah, Jack Black certainly did his thing and it was certainly entertaining to watch—to an extent. I get that without his overly dramatic and loud line deliveries, we wouldn’t have those iconic meme lines to say in front of our friends whenever we want to let them know we haven’t had an original thought in weeks. But then again, he’s doing that for every damn line—which gets a little old after a while.
But it’s not all doom and gloom: there is literally one thing that I liked about the film. Going into it, I was almost certain that the visuals were going to be absolutely horrendous. Just on concept alone, hearing that 95% of a movie is set in some kind of other world where everything is coated in CGI and backed by green screen is never a good sign. But to my surprise, it turns out this was—in my opinion—the film’s strongest element. There’s a surprising amount of practical set decoration and props that actually look sick, and the landscapes look lush and vibrant when we’re looking at the wider shots. It’s nothing award-worthy, but still exceeds expectations for what it is.
Unfortunately, I still can’t in good conscience call this a good film. “A Minecraft Movie” only needed to do two things: be enjoyable for movie fans, and be enjoyable for Minecraft fans. And as a self-proclaimed fan of both…the way this failed miserably on both fronts is almost inspiring. Outside of a small handful of stupid-fun moments and an unforgettable theater experience, this is really not something you should want to willingly revisit. If you didn’t see it like I did—opening weekend with a theater full of middle schoolers stimming out over the TikTok one-liners—then honestly, it isn’t worth seeing at all.
If you’re just dying to read more of this review where I write way to much about a kid’s movie, check the rest out here
